Self-Reliance

(Session 3)

In today’s lesson, we’ll focus on the third and final foundational trait: self-acceptance.

To develop any of the durable skills—traits, qualities, mindsets, habits, or attitudes—that lead to success in school, the workplace, and life, you must first be able to accept who you are. Only by accepting yourself as you are can you build the confidence needed to continue growing and developing.

What it is: Self-acceptance is exactly what its name suggests: the state of complete acceptance of oneself. True self-acceptance is embracing who you are, without any qualifications, conditions, or exceptions

Some people find it easy to accept the negative aspects of who they are but fail to embrace and accept the positive. What about you?

Why it’s important: Self-acceptance is a foundational quality that forms the bedrock of confidence, enabling you to develop additional durable skills and ultimately become self-reliant. This is especially true for becoming an effective and valued employee in the workplace. It plays a vital role in cultivating a sense of ease within your own identity, embracing your unique style, strengths, and areas for growth. This self-assuredness not only enhances your effectiveness in the workplace but also boosts your overall well-being.

In addition, someone who has developed self-acceptance understands that they have the power to improve. They are willing and eager to receive and apply feedback and constructive criticism. Employers highly value employees who are teachable and willing to improve.

Accepting All That We Are

While embracing our positive traits and achievements often comes easily, accepting our shortcomings can be much more challenging. Yet with the right mindset, both our strengths and our weaknesses can become catalysts for ongoing growth and lifelong self-improvement.

Self-acceptance: the bridge to self-improvement.

The key to self-acceptance is realizing your strengths serve as evidence that you have the potential and ability to change anything that you perceive as negative about yourself.
If you’ve developed even one or two positive qualities—like being understanding or taking initiative—that means you already have the ability to develop additional positive traits and even unlearn negative habits or mindsets.
Take a moment to identify the positive traits, qualities, or habits you already possess. Think about achievements you’ve reached or goals you’ve accomplished, and list them all.

**Letting Go of Rating and Judging for Growth and Development.**

Constantly comparing ourselves to others can make us fixate on our shortcomings and overlook our strengths, which gets in the way of self-acceptance. Instead of judging or rating yourself against someone else, try using comparisons as chances to learn. If someone excels at something, observe their work ethic, habits, and mindset. Even if you never reach their exact level, learning from their effort and determination can spark growth that’s valuable—and worth appreciating.

Feel free to take this metacognitive survey to learn more about yourself.

ACTIVITY OR DISCUSSION (Group)

How did you do with your metacognitive goal this week? Were you able to maintain awareness of your emotions and thoughts throughout the day? If you encountered situations that triggered frustration, anger, or fear, were you able to identify these emotions and their causes? Could you consciously acknowledge your feelings and respond in a manner not solely dictated or controlled by your emotions? What did you learn about yourself?

Discuss these questions and answers with your class, group, or family members.

Building the Foundation: The Goal is Self-Reliance

Self-reliance has been defined as reliance on one's own powers and resources rather than those of others. At MindSage we view it as believing in yourself.
It’s important for you to know that you are enough. You don’t need to be like anyone else. Your goal should be to develop the best version of yourself possible, focusing on qualities, traits, mindsets, habits, and attitudes that enable you to pursue and achieve your goals.
While most people may not be aware of the steps to achieve self-reliance, you do. Begin with the foundational skills of self-awareness, self-appreciation, and self-acceptance. From there you can build the durable skills to follow your dreams and make them a reality.

Steps for change.

It begins with self-awareness, the ability to understand how your thoughts and emotions influence your actions. This self-awareness allows you to recognize both your positive and negative traits, serving as the initial step toward self-improvement and eventual self-reliance.
Self-appreciation, the second step or component, empowers us to recognize and see value in all of our positive traits, qualities, or accomplishments. We allow ourselves to feel good about all that is positive, good, and commendable in us.
The final foundational building block, self-acceptance, allows us to use all the positive aspects about us as evidence and proof that we can learn from and improve upon any mistakes, failures, or negative traits and qualities. We understand that no one is perfect, and every one can improve. Including us - and that’s ok.