Self Esteem 1.3
(Section 3)
Review key points for this first lesson.
We need to be aware of our current level of self-esteem in order to make any needed adjustments. We need balanced self-esteem to be highly valued by employers.
Balanced self-esteem will allow us to enthusiastically take on challenging tasks in the workplace, while also allowing us to take advice and constructive criticism from others.
Self-esteem includes respecting and valuing oneself (your effort, ideas, and opinions) and is related to self-confidence.
We need to be aware of who, where, and when our self-confidence is boosted and lowered. Understanding the ebb and flow of our self-esteem can help us to stabilize how we view ourselves.
Finally, we need to develop self-compassion or be reasonable with our expectations of ourselves. We can do this by appreciating our effort, not just the final result.
When you looked at the places that raise or lower your self-esteem, did you consider school (or the workplace) as one of them?
For many people, school can be a source of pressure and can lower self-esteem — so if that’s true for you, you’re not alone. But don’t let school define how you feel about yourself. Focus on doing your best and giving 100% effort. That’s what truly matters.
Feel free to complete the metacognitive review below.
Do you compare yourself to others?
Most of us compare ourselves to others at some point. There are many reasons we do it, and comparison can be either harmful or helpful depending on how it’s used. In this final part of Lesson One, we’ll look at two common — and often unhelpful — ways people compare themselves. In Lesson Two of Self-Esteem, we’ll explore how comparison can be used in a positive, healthy way.
Comparing for failure.
Some people compare themselves to others to justify a result or outcome. Others compare themselves just to feel better about who they are. But if you need comparison to feel good, is that really self-esteem?
Do you compare yourself to classmates, siblings, teammates, or others for either of these reasons? If so, take a moment to reflect on it and write about your experience in your journal after watching the video.
Remember: If you currently compare yourself to others to make yourself feel good, or to provide yourself with an excuse not to try, you do not have balanced self-esteem.
It’s important to notice these comparison habits now so you can address them and make changes that strengthen your self-esteem, self-confidence, and self-worth. Don’t underestimate the impact they can have. If you don’t work on reducing these negative comparison tendencies, they can hold you back—not just today, but later on when you’re trying to perform at a high level in the workplace.
STEPS FOR CHANGE
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Don’t try to be anyone else—focus on being the best version of yourself. You can do this by developing positive qualities, traits, mindsets, and habits.
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Learn to focus on your effort, not just the final result. If you give 100% and truly do your best, you can be proud no matter the outcome.
Also remember to be reasonable with what you expect of yourself. Expect your best—not perfection—and show yourself some self-compassion and understanding.
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If you compare your strengths to others’ weaknesses just to feel better, or compare your weaknesses to others’ strengths to excuse yourself from improving, your self-esteem becomes unbalanced.
Real self-esteem and self-respect start from within. What qualities, traits, and skills do you already have? And which ones do you want to develop moving forward?
Only you can limit yourself.
Think about it. An oak tree, palm tree, and apple tree all look different. They all grow at different rates, have different uses, and produce. We appreciate each one because they are different. Get the point?
Thought of the day.
Growth is inevitable. You will grow and change in so many ways as you mature. Don’t compare yourself while you’re developing to others who are also just figuring out who they are. Just keep developing the qualities, habits, and mindsets of those who make a difference. One day you’ll be that kind of person as well.